Kleenitup on Vacation….

Turning LOL into OMG

Driving while texting, walking while texting…holy shit what a hazard….every single day I drive home or to work I see some assclown weaving in and out of lanes, then realizing he forgot to merge so he swerves back at the last second. I’ve made it a habit when I see this kind of stupidity to pull up next to the guy/girl(usually girl) and see what could have caused it. Your guess? Right. The bitch is usually texting or talking on the cell phone. The Chinese fucking know what they’re doing…our nation is stupid enough to kill ourselves off by tweeting ourselves to death with their hardware….

Katie Couric said it best…


Bingo bango bongo…

Yeah so I recently joined the NRA and was checking out their online store…Are you fucking serious, tell me you don’t want this jean jacket with holsters for your mag clips for your glock. I have been debating buying handgun for sometime but the reality is I am way too reckless, constantly harm people enough already, and just don’t have the cash. Well on that note, when I do grow up I am buying this bad boy right off the rack. Oh and by grow up I mean accidentally impregnating some girl


Number one Cage…

I have a love/hate relationship for Nic Cage…I mean, his acting is sub-par, he’s in and out of bankruptcy, and is a closet Sheen. With that said, I recently saw the movie Bad Lieutenant: Port of New Orleans, a remake of an early nineties movie staring Harvey Keitel who is essentially a corrupt crazy cop. Well, the remake is legendary and brought me to this video clip…maybe the greatest montage I have ever come across…please enjoy you reckless bastards



My Top 5 Most Hated Actors/Actresses

I know this is kind of random but I decided to post a top 5 list….today’s is my top 5 least favorite actors…

1) Justin Long…Hello Im a PC and a I’m  Mac aka a douchebag that’s been playing the same queer role my entire career…way to nab Drew Barrymore who hasn’t been hot since she was 16 blowing Charlie Sheen in the back of cabs

2) Abigail Breslin – I don’t care if she’s 12. Little Miss Little Miss can be wrong and she is

3) Willem Dafoe – Creep in most movies, queer in others, certainly not believable as a badass opposite Sheen and Berenger in Platoon

4) Michael Rappaport – because  he’s this guy. you hate him too

5) The entire cast from 3rd Rock from the Sun…I dont care that Joseph Gordon Penisface is in Inception

-John Q

Give your left pinky finger of the day…

Oh and you know my boy in the background just straight creeps on the mike…


Fat Kids on Flights

God damnt mook, you bitch, I don’t feel well. In the spirit of not feeling well, I thought I’d tell you about my return flight last night….on Southwest Airlines. Holy shit. If that isn’t an airline discriminating against drunkards I dont know what is. Firstly, I can’t book my seat in advance, as you know, so it’s all on you to make sure you sign in early enough to get a decent boarding group number…you think I did? Think again. B36. So i wait til its my turn to board and low and behold it looks like they’re may actually be an aisle seat on the back of the plane…think again…this cougar wanna be in front of me wearing a fake mink from Burlington Coat Factory takes the last aisle seat and Im stuck in the last row, on the window…Fuck my life. The only thing worse than feeling like you’re about to throw up on a plane, is being stuck in the middle or window and know that in the even you do have to vomit…youll have to climb over two people. Well I thought I was ok and would have an empty middle seat until this little pudgy 11 or 12 year old Augustus Glut motherfucker sits right next to me and starts asking questions to me, the guy next to me, the stewardess…the balls on this little mother fucker…he told me twice to turn off my iphone when I used it before and after the “designated time” (btw I never fucking turn it off, deal with it) and started asking me questions about my headphones, my iphone, if I like flying etc..then the little tub o lard orders a hot chocolate and commences consuming it with the leftover chinese food this little type 2er picked up at the airport….good God in heaven it took all the strength in me not to “accidentally” dump his fresh hot 840 calorie cocoa all over his illiterate ass…..Finally I said, “I’m sorry I’m falling asleep.” Yea, I pussed out…if I go to jail it will be for something better than that-

– John Q